Aging in Place is something we usually don’t think about until it becomes an issue. 90% of seniors want to stay in their homes. They know where everything is, they know the neighbors and everything is familiar to them.  They have a routine.  As we age, a house becomes more of a burden than the family home it once was.  If your decision is to age in place for as long as possible, then you need to plan ahead.  That plan needs to begin before it becomes necessary. 

Questions to Ask Yourself about Aging In Place

What are the financial costs to make essential modifications and maintenance to your home? 

Is your home in a more rural area?  Aging eyes often have problems driving in the dark. The location may reduce their ability to attend social outings and family gatherings.

Are there still friends and family close by?  If friends and family may have moved away, it will lead to isolation.

How far away is medical assistance?

What factors determine that it is no longer safe?  Some factors include safety from falls, chronic illnesses, loss of a spouse, malnutrition, isolation, break-ins, scams and more. How self-reliant are you?  How much can you rely on family, friends and other outside services?   Making a decision about that ahead of time takes the emotion out of the question. You will make the decision with a clearer head.

Or are you going to downsize?  Aging in Place may mean selling the family home but it doesn’t mean moving to an institution. Aging in Place has many different faces. A move to an apartment or condo does mean a smaller living space with a lot less maintenance and upkeep.  There is no yard to tend, no snow to shovel or walls that need painting.  The plumber, HVAC technicians and electricians are only a phone call away to the manager.

Moving in with a family member or friend is another option. This option works best for all parties concerned when you have your own private space and you downsize before moving. If a private space isn’t available then perhaps remodeling a section or having an addition put on the house.  Inviting someone who is younger to come live with you is another choice.  As with any of the other options, a good deal has to be considered. Such as, how well do you really know them. What are their lifestyles and personalities like.

If the best decision is to remain in your home, then there are ways to help you reduce your dependency.

Take Inventory of Possibly Aging in Place

Make a list of regular maintenance tasks.  For example, cleaning gutters.  It can be a hazardous job climbing a ladder and reaching for the debris.  Solution: Install gutter guards.  Now you are no long going to have to rely on someone to do it.  Digging for things in kitchen cabinets…get pullout shelves.  Look for trip hazards, such as, throw rugs, cords and uneven flooring.  Do hand rails need to be installed in the bathroom?  There is a comprehensive list on this website.

De-clutter to Safely Age in Place

Clear hallways and entrances reduce your chances of falling.  If you can’t freely move through you space with ease then you are inviting a fall.  Closets and cabinets that are overflowing pose the threat of having something fall on you and possibly leave you unconscious.  What served you in the past will not necessarily serve you in the future.  Your safety is paramount.

Your Golden Years

I don’t know where that phrase came from, perhaps the gold of a setting sun.  No matter.  What does matter is that you have lived a life that isn’t over. You have worked, endured, possibly raised a family.  Look at your hands and think about all they have done.  Now you should live your best life under the best circumstances for you.   

Updated December 11 2024

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Your kids don’t want your stuff.  So now what to do with it.  There are a few choices.

Let’s start with the house.

This is a big decision.  If it is a large house you may consider selling it and move to a smaller place.  If it’s a vacation house you no longer go to, then sell it.  Is it possible for you to sell the big house and move to the vacation home?  If you wish to stay in your family home and it is big, consider emptying some rooms and closing them off.

Your Kid’s Don’t Want Your Furniture

Furniture is another big ticket item, therefore, if you have furniture that you are not using, such as in a spare bedroom.  However, you cannot sell mattresses in most places.  Therefore, special arrangements have to be made for their disposal.  So check with your local town hall to discover the governing rules.

Furniture sold the conventional way

1. Yard Sales
2. Classified ads

Furniture can be sold on the internet.

1. Facebook Marketplace and Facebook groups such as yard sale
2. Craig’s List
3. E-bay

I will mention consignment shops.  Most will only keep your furniture in their shop for 3 months, then you have to go back to pick it up or they own it.  Some will buy it from you.  Contact the owner and ask what is their policy and procedure.  Consignment shops will also take a lot of other household items and some clothing.

Furniture can also be donated.

1. Salvation Army
2. Habitat for Humanity
3. Some thrift shops
4. Check with your local food bank to find out if there is a furniture bank in your area
5. Goodwill
6. Savers
7. Brothers & Sisters

Your Kid’s Don’t Want Your Stuff Resources

Art Dealers

Jewelers

Coin Shops (often deal in silver and gold)

Vintage clothing shops

Books – if they are rare contact a professional book dealer.  Unfortunately not a lot of people want books any more thanks to kindle and other reading devices.  If you are having a yard sale put them out.  What remains can go to your public library. 

Sports equipment can be sold to a 2nd hand sports shop.  Some golf pros will sell 2nd hand clubs in their stores.  Or donate to a sports team in a disadvantaged neighborhood.

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You think they do but your kids really don’t want your collections.  They are uniquely yours.   You have spent many hours and dollars.  Consequentially, you have put so much of yourself in to your collections.  Your take great joy in your collectables.  You take great pride in displaying them.  They have great meaning for you.  They are an expression of yourself, a passion of yours.  Again, notice all the you’s and your’s.

Ask them

Are they interested?  Secondly, ask them if they are interested in any of the pieces.  Do your kids share in your passion of the collections?  Yes, great! No? Why not? It’s a fantastic collection you spent years collecting.  It is better for you to edit your collections. Once you decide what is ready to move on, sell them.  Keep the parts of it that you truly love.  You know their monetary value and where is the best place to sell them.  More importantly, you will have recouped more of your money.  However, if left to your children.  there is the possibility they would sell the entire collection for a lot less than their value, since they don’t know their true value.

Your kids don’t want your set of china

The set of china for 12 with three different sizes of goblets that make your table look so elegant.  They don’t want all of the crystal, silver and table linens that you have.  You could breakdown the setting of 12 into (2) 6’s or (3) 4’s if that works.  The problem is, is that people just don’t entertain like they used to.  When was the last time you used all that stuff?

When was the last time you used…?  Depending on your situation, start going through your house as if you were going to move.  With that attitude in mind, ultimately, you will ask yourself do I really need and love this.

If your family has a unique set of circumstances or if you find this challenging just as many do, contact me to discuss your situation.

The final installment will offer suggestions on how to disburse what you are willing to let go.  As a result, you won’t be dumping your stuff on your kids.

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You think your house is beautiful…

and it probably is. You have enjoyed living there, raising your family and watching them grow.  Your house holds a lot of precious memories for you.  You have hosted great get togethers and holiday meals with your family and friends.  Notice all the you and yours.  Your kids may love your house but there are a few very good reasons why your kids don’t want your house.  First, does the neighborhood suit their lifestyle?  Does the neighborhood have families that look like your children’s families or does it have a more mature vibe?  Is the location convenient for work and the kids school?  Secondly, do they want to uproot their lives?  Just as you have built a life so have they and are they willing to move?  Thirdly, they can’t share the house.  Even attempting to share a vacation home can adversely affect their relationships.  One may feel they shouldn’t have to contribute as much to upkeep and taxes since they don’t spend as much time there as the others.  They can run into scheduling conflicts as well.  Can they afford to buy out their other siblings?  If you are no longer using it, sell it, use the money to do more of what you want or leave more cash to your kids.

Part 2 of 3 Your Kids Don’t Want Your Stuff is soon to follow

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Have you asked your kids if they want your stuff? The answer may surprise you because you have great stuff! Right? Wrong.  Your kids don’t want your stuff.  This is stuff that you love and cherish because you have attached emotions to your stuff. The things that have meaning for you don’t necessarily hold the same meaning for your children. While you were living, working and building a life, time moved on, as a result, so did your children. Your children are the next generation with a different lifestyle, needs and desires. They are busy collecting their own stuff.

As an organizer, I see a lot of beautiful and well made items going to donation centers because no one wants them. Your kids don’t want your stuff.  I have tried selling them with a little success because there is almost no market for these items.

The next opportunity you have to speak to one of your children ask them if there is anything special they want. I suggest doing this one by one, for example, perhaps starting chronologically to appear fair. Don’t make any promises, this is an exercise for you to get a feeling of where they are. Make notes. Consequently, you will be able to plan accordingly. I have yet to find an adult child who was thrill to have to clean out their parents house to sell because they couldn’t afford to buy the others out even if they wanted to keep it.

Since They Don’t Want Your Stuff, Here is the First Step to Avoid Dumping on Your Kids

If you have stuff from their childhood, clothes, sports equipment, artwork, etc. Invite them over to go through their stuff with you. It will be a nice trip down memory lane. When they decide what they want, box it up and have them take it with them. If storage is an issue for them and if you have the space, store it with their name on it. Don’t be tempted to keep all the rest yourself. If it doesn’t have meaning for them, it doesn’t represent them. Be very selective and chose only items that have the most meaning to you.

More tips to follow

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